Reasons to (not) visit Jewish Film Festival

“1945.” Image copyright Katapult Film.

The Central Florida Jewish Film Festival began tonight and will continue through Monday at the Enzian Theater in Maitland, Florida. Read my Orlando Weekly article.

Although I strongly encourage you to attend, there are, admittedly, a few reasons for not attending. Let me address each one individually:

Reason #1: You don’t like movies.
Rebuttal: This festival might help you recover from this disturbing condition.

Reason #2: You’d rather spend your time outside in the nice weather.
Rebuttal: OK, that’s a pretty good one. However, the weather will become even nicer in a few weeks. Oh, and the Orlando forecast calls for rain on Sunday.

Reason #3: You don’t like food.
Rebuttal: Eat, eat! You’re skin and bones!

Reason #4: You’re anti-Semitic.
Rebuttal: Don’t attend. No one wants you there — or anywhere.

Reason #5: You don’t enjoy experiencing Jewish culture.
Rebuttal: See #4.

Reason #6: You have agoraphobia.
Rebuttal: I’m stumped. Good luck with that.

Reason #7: You might see me there.
Rebuttal: I’m really not as mean as people say, unless you’re an anti-Semite.

So, in conclusion, unless you’re an agoraphobe or an anti-Semite, get your tukhus out to the Enzian to see some good films and eat some latkes and knishes.

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